


Come as you are (It's just a question of bad timing)

by Aviss



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Action, BAMF Clint, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 21:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aviss/pseuds/Aviss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>As for Clint, suffice to say this isn't even the worst situation he's found himself in. It doesn't even make the top ten, even counting the fact that he's about to start a fight in his birthday suit. Not for the first time in his life either. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Or, the one when bad guys sneak into the tower, Clint's a badass even naked, and Tony is just enjoying the view a bit too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come as you are (It's just a question of bad timing)

**Author's Note:**

> so this was just going to be a bit of harmless fun about Clint being a badass when naked, and then Tony sort of took over because anyone who had a look at that body would want a piece of that...

They come when Clint's in the fucking shower, the bastards.

It's kind of a ritual for him since the team moved into Stark tower, because Tony Stark does nothing by halves, and he installed the best fucking showers on earth in each of their floors. Clint's used to showering quickly in a tiny stall surrounded by other SHIELD agents, or in that sad excuse of a bathroom in the flat he rented before his entire block was destroyed by a Chitauri space whale, so the first time he entered his new bathroom and saw it he actually gaped.

He might have also entertained thoughts of kissing Tony Stark full in the mouth for it.

The entire floor is gorgeous, full of light and open spaces with a fully functional kitchen, a huge entertainment system and the softest, most comfortable bed Clint has ever had the pleasure of not-sleeping in.  What seals the deal for him is the bathroom, though. It's huge, with a walk in shower controlled by a panel that wouldn't look out of place in a spaceship; it has the perfect water pressure and the temperature is always right, from the moment it starts falling, and Clint could live in there, hasn't even looked twice at the swimming pool pretending to be a bathtub that fills the rest of the bathroom.

In three short months he's gone from quick, practical showers to spending almost an hour each night under the spray, singing at the top of his lungs and having some quality time with his right hand. He might be a little in love with his shower, and he's not even ashamed of it.

He's just been there for five minutes, his body relaxing finally after a grueling training session against Steve first and then Natasha, the entire bathroom smelling of the flowery shampoo he's using to make weird spikes with his hair as he washes it. He's childish sometime, sue him. Then the door to the bathroom opens, and Clint has just enough time to wash the suds from his eyes and see three men in full combat gear, sky mask, automatic pistols and assault rifles pointing at him. And oh, he's pissed off right now, because there is one, and only one place Clint doesn't take any weapons with him, and that's his bathroom. There has never been any need, not with JARVIS monitoring the house, which means these clowns are good enough to have incapacitated the most advanced AI on earth before the assault.

Tony is going to be livid.

He's assessing his options when one of the men speaks. "Out, or we shoot." And really, there isn't much he can do in his current position. He raises his hands, lacing his fingers behind his head, and steps out of the shower clad only in some foam from the shampoo and a scowl, the water running down his body and he walks in front of the men.

The rest of the team minus Thor, who is back in Asgard dealing with some princely stuff, is already in the living room when he arrives, all of them in different states of dress and with their hands behind their heads. Natasha is looking murderous still in her training gear, Steve and Tony are both wearing just pajama pants, and Tony has pillow marks on his face and an expression to match Natasha's, this might have been one of the few times in his life Tony was actually asleep during the night, Bruce is breathing slowly and controlled, still in his lab coat and comfortable clothes he wears when he's doing science, and all of them are staring at him with open incredulity.

"Ok, how is this fair?" Clint says taking position next to Tony, who's now ogling him unashamedly.

Clint's not body shy, not at all. He works out and knows exactly how he looks like, and life as a SHIELD filed agent has left him with little to no shame. And yet, it's unfair that he's the only one who's been dragged out of the shower, goose bumps rising on his skin where the cold air hits, like _everywhere_.

"Hello there natural blonde," Tony says, because he's Tony Stark, and he can never pass up on an opportunity for innuendo and poorly timed remarks, never mind the twelve heavily armed thugs surrounding them. "I like your hair."

And Clint is not blushing, _he isn't_ , even when Tony hasn't spared more than the briefest of glances for the dripping spikes on his head.

"Not now, Stark," Clint grits out, taking stock of the situation. Both Tony and Steve are unarmed and unarmored, and though Steve might get away with fighting the way he is, Tony is going to be a problem. So is Bruce, but for completely different reasons, he needs all his focus to remain calm and collected. The last thing they need is for the Other Guy to come out in their living room. Natasha has just a couple of knives in her person, and no armor, but she is hardly helpless even in that situation.

As for Clint, suffice to say this isn't even the worst situation he's found himself in. It doesn't even make the top ten, even counting the fact that he's about to start a fight in his birthday suit. Not for the first time in his life either. _Join SHIELD and your life will never be boring again_ , Coulson should have said during his recruitment speech.

"Anthony Stark," the leader of the masked men says as he steps forward, happy that all of the team is in the same place and he has them under control. "You are to come with us, or your team will die."

That settles it, these guys are idiots; Clint's been wondering which of them was the target, it was a toss-up between Tony, Steve and Bruce. Nobody ever comes for the non-genius, plain human members of the Avengers. So far there have been three attempts on Steve, one on Bruce, and countless on Tony. One would have though those people would have learned their lesson; it never ends well for the kidnappers, especially the ones who tried to take Bruce.

"Really," Tony says, sounding as unimpressed as the rest of them look. "You've come for me? Let me guess, you either want to ask for ransom, which you won't get, or want me to build you weapons, which, if you ask the ones who tried before you, didn't work so well for them."

"Silence!" the leader snaps, prodding Tony with his gun to make him shut up. And no, that's not going to work either.

Tony fixes the guy with an arched eyebrow, looking down at the barrel of the gun pressed against his chest and back up at the man. "Also, I'll give you cookie points for disabling JARVIS, but you better not have harmed him or I will personally make Bruce angry enough to smash you all."

"Leave me out of this, Tony," Bruce says, more like _pleads_ , but he's looking a bit green around the gills at the mention of JARVIS being harmed, so Tony wouldn't have to push too hard to get the Hulk to come out and play, even if he was serious about the threat.

Clint and Natasha share a look while Tony runs his mouth, looking at Steve who gives them a minute nod. They get ready for the fight.

"And do you mind giving Legolas here a blanket or at least some pants, he looks hot, I give you that, but he must be getting cold and it's very distracting having all that muscled body in sight; for one, I won't be able to look at him in the face again when I know what he's packing, two," Clint gets ready for action, the countdown obvious enough that he wonders how the clowns surrounding them have not noticed yet. "Something's coming up and it's going to be difficult to get it _down_.  And three--" Tony and Bruce both duck at the same time, and the rest is a blur of movement.

Natasha and Clint are used to this, to the seamless movement of parrying and ducking hits and avoiding fire while they disable enemies, even as outnumbered as they are.  Clint elbows the one holding him at gunpoint in the face, grabbing his gun in the same movement and twisting to use him as a shield against the rest of the men's fire. He fires three shots in rapid succession, taking care of the ones advancing on Tony and Bruce, the more exposed targets. Steve is busy punching one of them in the face, another already down at his feet, and Natasha has used her knives to disable two of them, and is methodically beating the shit out of a third one.  Clint tosses the dead man in front of him aside, and it's leveling his gun at the closest one when the leader grabs Tony by the hair, pulling him up from the floor and pressing a gun to his temple.

And wow. Bad idea. Really bad idea.

"One move, and Stark dies," he says, his voice carrying clearly in the sudden silence.

They all freeze, lowering their weapons, and Clint risks a look at Bruce who is now decidedly _not looking calm_.

"I think it would be best if you thought again about what you're doing," Steve says, his voice calm and not even a bit out of breath.

Tony is looking annoyed instead of scared, as normal people would, and he looks at Steve straight in the eye. "I'm going to have to remodel the living room, am I not?"

"Afraid so," it's Bruce who replies, his voice strained.

The assailants seem to have just the one bit of self preservation, though it kicks in too late to help. The one holding Tony hostage takes a minute step away from Bruce, dragging Tony with him. "Stop it!" he shouts, as if anyone has ever been able to prevent the Hulk from taking over, his hold on the gun starting to falter. Clint sees his chance and takes it, shooting him clean in the head, and he's sorry about the blood splattering Tony, he really is, except that it's safer for him that Clint took the guy using him as shield before the Hulk went after him. The other two turn to run, though they don't get very far, Steve knocking them out before they can get to the elevator.

It's over as quickly as it began, Tony frozen in the middle of the living room, blood on his face and his eyes wide and unfocused. Bruce is taking gulping breaths, keeping the Hulk in check with an effort now the danger is past, and Natasha and Steve are restraining the men still alive and contacting SHIELD.

"Coulson's on the way," Natasha says, and that seems to snap Tony out of it. He shudders, his entire body trembling for a second before the mask of calm and confidence that is Tony Stark, public persona, is back in place.

"Good," Tony says, taking a step toward Clint, who's still rooted on the spot with the adrenaline of the last few minutes crashing in his system and the look on Tony's face as the blood hit him replaying in his mind. "You can take care of this, then? I need to check JARVIS, and a shower, not necessarily in that order. And Barton here needs to put on some clothes before he gives anyone in SHIELD ideas or a heart attack." He leans closer to Clint, looking him in the eyes. "Not that I'm not enjoying the view, but Cap is a big fan of decency."

Clint shakes himself out it and nods, following Tony into the elevator to go back to his floor.

"You know, I knew you and Natasha were badasses, but that display there," Tony says, leering at Clint, and he's trying too hard to appear normal, unperturbed by the blood still drying on his skin. Clint can appreciate that. "That was some serious naked ass-kicking you did in there. Thanks, by the way."

"Anytime," Clint says automatically, and then winces because, no, he'd rather not have to shoot anyone holding a team mate hostage again. It's never pretty, even when he knows he's not going to miss.

"If you're referring to the naked ass-kicking, I'll gladly take you up on the offer, set up some training schedule for that," Tony says. "As for the other, let's just make it a one time deal, because _blood_ , yuck, sticky."

And he's trying to make it now into some sort of joke, which, well, whatever helps him deal. "As long as the rest of the world cooperates."

"Yeah, fat chance of that."

They ride in silence for a moment, until Tony cards his fingers through his hair and grimaces. "Gross. I'm going to take the longest shower ever, _even longer than yours_." He looks at Clint with a smirk that looks a bit less strained. "You're lucky I have enough money to pay for the water bill."

Clint snorts at that. "You shouldn't have given us those showers if you didn't want us to enjoy them. And you have _billions_ ; it's not even going to make a dent."

"You know, I designed them for more than one person."

He looks at Clint appraisingly, half teasing and half serious, and Clint knows he can make a joke and nothing would have happened, or acknowledge the offer and see where it takes them. And he's not even going to pretend he's not thought about it, he's not imagined Tony naked and wet pressed against him in the shower, he's not felt the lingering looks and the attraction sparking between them since they've been living together in the tower.

But tonight it's not the right time, not with Tony bloody and strung out and JARVIS out of commission.

"I know." The door open in his floor and he steps out, turning to look a Tony and catching a brief, disappointed look in his eyes. "But now I have to wash quickly and get dressed before heading back down for the debrief. You are welcome to join me after you've fixed JARVIS and are not full of _fuck-you-just-saved-my-life_ endorphins." He looks Tony up and down, letting his appreciation show on his face. "Set up that training and we'll get to the naked part, and the shower."

He turns and walks back to his room, giving Tony a good look of his ass.

He hears Tony laugh as the door closes. "It's a date."


End file.
